just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
