Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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