i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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