Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
