Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
well you can't waste a boner
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
