i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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