omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
