What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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