my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize