I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
