My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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