she was so not down for the gang bang
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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