That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
