True but thats because hes a fetus.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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