Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
