Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
