we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
