Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
