I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
