Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
