btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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