i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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