Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
