why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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