At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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