Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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