The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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