I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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