I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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