So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
