So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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