Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
