I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
