Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
