I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
