I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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