ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
