How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
