And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
