There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
