you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize