How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
