i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
