I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
