just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
