Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I understand Curling. That high.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
