first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Someone shit on the floor
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
