dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
