well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize