Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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