Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
