She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
