hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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