My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
