I showed him my bush... on skype.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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