part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
