I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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