At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
