I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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