Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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