he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
