Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
