From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
