i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
