Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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