Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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