we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
