My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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