If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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