yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
