Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
